Experiencing Brokenness

It’s been a little over a week since I broke my femur. Most of that week I kept telling my mom “I just can’t believe I broke my leg”. Well believe it, because I broke it and did a dang good job doing it.

Most of y’all know I was in a small horse accident. It was a weird deal. Taylor and I had been out riding and I ended up getting bucked off about 5 minutes from the house. I knew exactly what was wrong when I hit the ground. My leg was broken. About 3 inches below my hip joint, I snapped my femur like a twig.

Taylor immediately began rushing around and scooped me off the ground, put me in the pick up and got me to town.

I laid by myself in the pasture for what felt like 5 minutes. I just prayed “Jesus, please take the pain” I’m so thankful that I thought to say that out loud because I was in zero pain until we got to the ER. Moving me around was a reallll killer. Luckily the nurses controlled my pain really well. I was transferred to The hospital in Amarillo and pretty much immediately went into emergency surgery.

I just kept thinking about how “broken” and “useless” I was going to be. But I remembered who I served and who cares deeply for me. My brokenness is welcomed in his presence. I am not useless to him.

I was being prayed for by more people than I could have imagined. I was completely at peace with everything that was going on around me. For that I am so grateful.

A lot of people kept telling me, “You’re so lucky that it didn’t come through the skin.” “You’re so lucky you were close to the house.” “You’re so lucky that you’re young you’ll heal quick.” Some may call in luck but I call it blessed. I will heal quick because I serve a healing God.

This test is going to be turned into a testimony. As of Wednesday May 30 (3 days after surgery). I had 90% range of motion in my knee. 85% range of motion in my hip. I can put all my weight on it. I can walk on it with a little help from my crutches. I have minimum to no pain. Thank ya Jesus!

I am so thankful that I was truly being watched over. I intend to make this leg stronger than before.

P.S. I am not going to sell Mighty Mouse. I am

not scared to get back on. It was not his fault. It comes with the territory being a horseman.

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The Enemy and My Fitness Journey.

As most of you know, I recently got serious about my fitness journey. Y’all also know that I fight most of my battles against myself.

Tonight I rode my bike, and the last mile and a half I set a goal for myself. Don’t stop. It doesn’t matter how slow you’re moving, just don’t stop. Before I knew it I had the mile under my belt. But the half mile is on a busy road. I try to push as hard as I can to get back to the house and off the road as quick as I can.

In my mind I kept hearing, “you can’t” “your legs are on fireee” “what’s the point there’s no traffic” “the burrnnnn.” “Just stop.”

That one got me. That wasn’t me fighting against me that was the enemy. Getting me to stop. Stop improving myself. I’m usually very aware of the enemy when he speaks. For the past three months I have been letting him speak to me, through me. He’s been watching me tare down myself and loving it.

I wrote this post to encourage you to listen to what you are saying to yourself. The enemy loves to see you fail. Don’t give him the satisfaction.

You can. You can do this. You can finish. You are capable of great things. Keep pushing forward.

-Kirst..

Why a Personal Trainer?

It took along time for me to see past my own crap, and to be bold. I constantly battle with myself more than anyone. I look in the mirror hate what I see but do nothing to change it. I get walked on a lot. I don’t have the lady balls to stand up for myself. After a long time coming I decided to “practice boldness”. I stepped boldly out and started changing what I didn’t like in the mirror. Started changing how I let people talk to me. I changed how I talked to myself.

In my last post I talked about getting a personal trainer. It was the best choice I’ve made in along time! Sara from Riding Strong took me on at the first of March. My training was completely online. I decided to commit to getting a trainer because I felt like I was getting no where by myself. When I messaged Sara she immediately started to help me. We chit chatted about where I was and where I wanted to be.

Maybe you asked yourself, “How does online fitness training work?” well let me just give you the low down. Sara sent me work outs that corresponded with the work-outs I already enjoyed. Even better she formatted them so I could do them in the privacy of my own home. Awhile back I spoke about getting out of my comfort zone, so I asked Sara to recreate my work outs so that I could go to the gym. She quickly did.

Along with the workouts Sara also monitored my diet and made changes throughout the 4 weeks. I downloaded My Fitness Pal and kept her in the loop. Within the first day I realized that my diet was not being good to my body. I was consuming around 800-900 calories a day. Not to bad right. Wrong. I was consuming 900 and burning around 1200. I was starving myself without even realizing it.

Sara corrected my dietary needs. The program was super easy with my busy schedule. I had a few horse shows during the duration of my training. I stayed on my macros while I was away from home. I didn’t miss a work out because she had me set up at home and at the gym. I learned to use my supplements for the best results. (I use MAN Sports weight Loss Stack)

Non-Scale victories are my favorite victories. I am not a good sleeper. I have a real issue falling asleep and staying asleep. After about two days with Sara I could sleep straight through the night. I didn’t sleep because I was worn out I rested because my body actually needed it. I got stronger in the saddle. I learned how to engage muscles I didn’t know I had and used them to benefit my riding.

If you have any questions or just need some guidence Sara is on all the social media outlets at Riding Strong. I will be happy to answer any questions you might have.

Step out in boldness and change the world around you! You are capable of Greatness!

-Kirst

 

The Next Step.

After the post about starting it only seems fit to come up with the next step. Sorry for the delay my life got in the way of my blogging. April is a college students worst nightmare. It’s definitely crunch time here at WT.

I have made some huge life changes. I invested in a personal trainer. Shocker right? I decided I needed help continuing on my journey. I recruited Sara from Riding Strong, LTD. to assist me. Oh gosh people she’s awesome and I’m learning to care for my body from someone other than the guy on the other side of Google. If you have ever considered a trainer give her a pm, message, or a snap whatever you prefer. I recently posted an Instagram story on how online training works and worked for me! I also will be wrapping up the “Living Wholly” Series with an in detail post about my fitness journey.

This post is actually going to move into a different direction. In my last blog I touched on “quiet time“. I think as a baby christian I thought quite time had to be completely rehearsed. Like sit in your closet cross legged and pray the most formal prayer you could think of. If I couldn’t think of anything worthy of being brought up I would sit there until I could. As I grew up I learned that quite time is anywhere, the pick up, a parking lot, horse back and even in the bath tub.

I spend more time talking to Jesus while looking through a windshield, but guess what that’s okay. He wants a relationship with you. If that means jamming out to The Message on XM Radio and hanging out in the presence, so be it. I think this is something that gets lost in the motions. No one tells you to spend time with Jesus, but here I am. The best thing I have ever heard is “Jesus is gonna meet you where ever you’re at.” A even crazier thing is you can be in the valley, or the mountain. In the winners circle or in the losers seat. Where you are at, you are never to far out of place for him. ever.

I used to call my mentor so angry about how my life was going and she would always say, “How much time are you spending with Jesus?” Convicting right?? So even to this day if something isn’t going right I question myself. “How much time are you spending truly with Jesus?” the answer has always been, not enough. Putting Jesus in front of some of the things you do is actually better. He will bless your hobbies and your grades if you just put him above all else. Sounds a little OT right? Because it is. I think we blow off the whole Idolatry commandment. Yes I believe in Jesus, but I have an Idol called social media, homework, candy crush and mystery novels. Maybe you do to. I have been praying this form or and form of Idolatry off of me. I think we often believe that since we believe in Jesus we don’t have an idolatry issue. Idolatry is anything you put before Christ.

I quit scrolling and started reading. I love love love to read. I started carrying a book to school with me instead of scrolling I read “Goliath Must Fall” which I talked on in a pervious blog.

I am not a morning person. I’m not ready to speak until I’m fully awake and I feel like I get more out of quite time if I do it in the evenings. I reflect on the day and pray over the next one. I used to really feel bad about not waking up early and spending time with Jesus. But why even try when I can’t give 100% in the morning? I do a lot of praying and worshiping on my way to school (in the truck). It’s a for sure place no one is going to bother me during prayer.

Don’t miss out on Jesus because you feel like you aren’t in the proper place to speak with him. He meets you where you are.

Happy Monday,

-Kirst

 

Blessings, you can’t pick ‘em

A little under two years ago Taylor and I were blessed with a colt. We were even more blessed to have our pick of three colts. The man that blessed us, is also a blessing to both of us. Laurin is one of Taylor’s oldest friends. They got into a lot of trouble together while Taylor was growing up on the 6666’s Ranch.

We went down to Wichita Falls to pick out our first baby together. Out of the 3, I wanted a larger, solid bay colt, while of course Taylor picked the total opposite. A scrawny, lanky bay colt with a long skinny neck and a stripe down his head which made it look a mile long. Who was the last on my list.

He kept asking me, “Do you think he will grow?” I agreed. And kept praying,”Lord, Please make him grow”. There was no doubt that I would not be seen with the little fella until he did. Which I love every creature we own, but he was a ugly baby.

We immediately started him as soon as we got home. Taylor swore not all colts are as easy as him. Never offered to buck or be silly. Just solely wanted to please you or die trying. Taylor kept reminding me, “Don’t trust him, he’s still a baby”

We learned a lot about each other’s training skills with this guy. He would act up and I would be quick to defend him “He’s just a baby”.

Popeye is now 3 years old and probably my favorite out of our herd. He’s still a little awkward and does goofy things. “But he’s still a baby.” He went from the bottom of my list, to being my mount for this year’s show season.

You can’t pick your blessings, or you’d probably pick the wrong thing. Every time I ride Popeye I’m so thankful we came home with him. I am also so thankful that our blessings are gifted to us in all shapes and sizes. Even the things we swore we would never put to use, are blessings.

Stop looking at the things you’d rather have. Stop looking at the Big Stout Shapey Bay Colt and look at the Scrawny One. Stop sowing into things and aren’t working and sew into the correct blessing. The best thing I ever did was accept Popeye for exactly what he was, just as Christ accepted me. For exactly what I was. I was blessed with a scrawny colt when I wanted something completely different. When I sewed into him and pursued him, he became that shapey colt.

Where do I even start?

I found myself asking where should I start? I’m the type of person that starts with the easy things on my todo list. So here we go…

1) Stop Drinking your Calories!! I could bleed Dr. Pepper. So whatever your drink of choice is stopppp. You’re sipping on sugar. Read the labels, 1 can of Dr. Pepper has 40g of Carbs. You could have the chips and salsa for less. I have gave myself all the excuses. “I have a headache, it’s probably because I need a Dr. Pepper” “I had a bad day a Dr. Pepper will help.” I still have the occasional Dr. Pepper. I went from 1-3 a Day to 1 a week (maybe). When I tell people this I get the usual response “I don’t like the taste of water”. I use True Lime or True Lemon packets in my water when I’m just tired of plain water. You can also add fruit and veggies. Personally I don’t dig floaties in my water. Once I stopped my nightly Dr. Pepper intake I found myself missing the fizz. I tried all sorts of carbonated water and it was disgusting. Wal-Mart has their own brand of fizzy water, “Clear” it’s with the bottled water. It’s even a little sweet, so it curves my sweets craving.

2) Get your steps in! If you have ever spent any time on the WT campus you’ll know the parking isn’t great. On any given day I walk from 1-2 miles just getting to class. I know the weather is nasty or you might not have the want to, but just take a stroll. Get out of the class room or office and catch some fresh air! It doesn’t have to be a 10 mile stroll just 10-15 minutes of your day. The time you spend scrolling through the same Facebook posts you could take a walk. I found a workout on Pinterest an I do it when ever I fill my horses water. I make use of the time where I usually would spend on social media.

3) Get your Rest! This one is a hard one for me. I don’t fall asleep or stay asleep very easily. I can not stress this subject enough. I used to stay up late and get up early. I would get sick and stay sick. I didn’t feel like taking care of myself. I was a zombie so naturally I would reach for a Dr. Pepper. I’m gonna speak some Jesus for a minute here. Jesus wants his Warriors well rested, the enemy wants you constantly worn down. When the enemy get’s you busy and pulls you away from God. But you don’t notice it because you’re to busy! A very smart lady gave me a challenge when I was 17. Have 5-10 minutes of quiet time with Jesus. I’ll go more on this topic in post of it’s own.

I know that this is already a lot to handle. I’m going to try to make your transition into getting healthy as easy as I made mine. Try cutting back the Soda, or the Beer. It might be just going to one a day, then one a week, then hopefully none at all. Take a walk and Get your rest.

If you leave this post and try all these things but have a day where nothing goes right, please know you are still worthy! If you fail get up the next morning and try again. His grace and mercies are brand new every single morning. You are worthy yesterday, today, tomorrow and the next day. “It doesn’t matter how you start as long as you finish the race!”

blessings..

-Kirst

Join the Journey

I’m starting a journey. Actually I started the journey about a week ago, but I didn’t know if I could finish it.

Around the first of this month I looked in the mirror and nearly fainted. How did I let this happen?

I’m not fat by any means but I’m not as thin as I used to be. College has been better to me than most. I gained a little in Junior College and a little more at WT. I told myself, “I’m tired of looking like this.” But mostly I’m tired of feeling like crap!

I took action. I got an app to help me meal plan. Started eating a lot better and cheaper! I found a 30 day work out plan on Pinterest. I’m seeking Jesus now just as much as ever!

So I’m starting a journey, and I want you to come along with me. I’m going to do a series on staying healthy throughout college. On a budget and with a Busy schedule.

I’ll be posting my weekly meal plans, work outs (that don’t include a gym) and what I’m studying in my bible. I know that there’s many girls out there that feel the same as I do. They are terrified to go to the gym. Who want to eat right but have trouble planning and executing. So join in on the journey and get healthy spiritually and physically.

Stay Tuned.

-Kirst.

The giant of Comfort

I recently started reading, Goliath Must Fall by Louie Giglio. On the back of the book in big letters “Fear Rejection Addiction Anger Comfort.. Must Fall”

I thought to myself comfort? Really? What’s wrong with being comfortable? I didn’t feel convicted, until I dug deeper into that particular giant in my life.

I do not like stepping out on my own. I always wait for my spirit to tell me to. This isn’t something I’m totally proud of. I’m a little chicken when it comes to trying anything new.

Then I read a passage in this crazy good book. “If the enemy can just keep us good and comfortable, then he can prompt us to waste our days. But we are not a people of comfort. We are people of faith.” I was shocked. I’m hanging out in my comfort zone (willingly) letting the enemy waste my time. Waste my opportunity to find my purpose. Only because I am “comfortable”

Jesus was not comfortable on the cross, he was not in his comfort zone. “We are alive because of his discomfort.” He trusted God to get him to his purpose.

So I started my last semester of my undergrad with one promise to myself. Get out of my comfort zone. I’m a part of the schools radio show (big step in it’s own). The second day of class we had to pick teams. Social Media Team, Promotion Team, Music Team, Sports Team, News Team and Production Team.

I could have very easily put in for the social media or promotion team something I was comfortable with, but I didn’t want to waste my time.

I chose the production team. I stepped out of my comfort zone. I was super scared, terrified about what this new task would have for me. Recording your own voice and tearing it apart, talking to thousands of people who won’t talk back on live air. Is scary.

The best part of this testimony is I put down social media as number one on my list. In a split second I heard “way to stay in your comfort zone”. My spirit pushed me in the production direction. Even better, after all of this had happened. I read the comfort chapter in the book. This chapter gave me conviction and assurance on my choices.

He’s not just going to hang you out to dry when you make a step like this. He’s with you always.

I will no longer let my own comfort hold me back. Comfort keeps us from our destinies. This giant is falling in my life.

-Kirst.

Gracefully Reckless: Defined

When I started my blog I had millions of stories to tell some sensitive, others funny and full of life. I have always loved writing. I was wildly inspired by a few of my friends who had blogs. I jumped on the wagon, after some thought and prayer. If my stories can help one person, heal, stand-up, follow a dream, giggle, smile, more importantly come to know Jesus. It’s worth putting myself out there.

I’ve read articles on how to start a blog, how to make money at it, and even how to push it through all my social media. The hardest thing about starting a blog, isn’t the stories. It’s the name. That’s something that took way longer than the stories. I tried different websites and catchy names. I didn’t want catchy, I wanted meaningful.

Gracefully Reckless. Came to me after about 5 hours of grilling my friends on names. I thought it was very meaningful… to me. I’d like to just share where it came from. I was baptized when I was a little baby. That was for my family. I was re-dunked at 21. That one was for me. My pastors greatest line is, “You’re saved by grace through faith” I write it in my notes every time he speaks on it. Grace: a love that has nothing to do with our performance. But everything to do with the on whom it derived from, God. It’s a powerful piece of our existence. It’s the only reason we are able to open our eyes each morning. Grace is more than a second chance, it’s a third, fourth, and fifth. It’s a love that keeps on giving, regardless of our past. Completely undeserved, unmerited, unearned, favor. Honestly if it wasn’t for grit and grace I probably would not be where I am. I am saved because of grace and I believe that in my faith. I am saved by believing.

The reckless part came completely out of the blue. Being reckless is supposed to be really scary. Especially for someone like me who is a control freak. Those two syllables could not describe this leap of faith anymore perfectly. I don’t make irrational decisions. I decided to start a blog in about 15 minutes and just blew to it. Reckless: without thinking or caring. The love of God is something I am so thankful that is reckless. When ever, where ever he comes for me, without thinking or caring. The God we serve is wild and adventurous, there’s nothing he won’t do for you. He recklessly pursues us. My blog is named after two pretty great gifts we are blessed with. They’re blessings because we didn’t have to pay for, he already paid the price for us to receive these precious gifts.

Happy Sunday & Much Love,

-Kirst

My UnDo List for 2018

  1. Comparing myself to other women. Ever since I was small, I compared myself to everyone. I’ve always wanted to be someone else. This attitude toward myself continued on into my teenage years. Now that I’m in college I still catch myself comparing myself to girls in my surroundings. I took a few steps to help ease this objective. Unfollowing people that make me feel insecure. Stop over editing my pictures. Take more makeup-less selfies. Only care what the person in the mirror thinks of me.
  2. Complaining. I do more complaining than I do changing the things I complain about. No more complaining about the weather, the dog hair, the dishes, the heater, the grocery store, school work, and my wardrobe. Instead I’m trying to be thankful for these things. There’s people who are on the streets in this extreme cold. People who are allergic to dogs and that’s a tragedy! Others don’t have the money or the opportunity to go to the grocery store. Also some that never get the chance to go to college. I am forever thankful for my blessings.
  3. Procrastinating. This year I’m going to be better at managing my time. No more cramming things into one night. I have the determination this year to make things work out smoother and that’s my plan.
  4. Worrying. I constantly worry over little things I have absolutely no control over. This year I’m letting go and letting God. And not picking up what I already laid down at the cross.
  5. Pretending I can do my house work and homework while I watch Netflix. I am so over binge watching. Instead I’m trading Netflix Series for worship music while I do my chores.

I have a very long list but I decided to throw the top 5 at y’all. I make empty promises to myself every new year, but this year I could not be more serious. I’m getting my life set straight. I’ll pushing for a healthier, organized and focused lifestyle. I am removing everything in my life that might cause me to lose sight of my goals. Followers, junk food, TV, and even my own mind wondering. So here’s to a new me in 2018.

Stay Tuned..

-Kirst