One Percent

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6 months ago I broke my leg. A healing process that was estimated to take 6-8 weeks, has completely consumed 6 months of my life.

At the 2 month mark I quit hearing my pain induced scream, I stopped the replaying that day in my mind. I accepted the fact that I would never really know what happened.

Month 3 rolled around and I swung my leg over the horse that had snapped me like a twig. I started trotting around on my very favorite mare. I was back in my most favorite place on earth, in the center of a 1200 pound animal. Safe.

Month 4 I just assumed I was supposed to hurt for a while. Also the month I got a second opinion. The doctor explained that my rod was to small. That is why I felt shifting at my original break. Heartbroken I consented to another surgery. Where he discovered another break that had been unaddressed. A new rod, a plate and a 10 inch incision later I was on the right track.

Month 5 was a mile stone for me. Everyday I woke up hurting a little less. I started depending less on my crutches. I was gaining my independence back.

Month 6 I felt mourned in my spirit. I couldn’t put my finger on why I felt this way. No enough sun? Maybe because I’m not exercising like I was before. I could hardly get through a worship song without busting into tears. I was in the car where I do the majority of my quiet time. I clearly heard “one percent”.

I’ve heard this term used by horse trainers. One percent a day for a hundred days is a hundred percent. (Colts should progress one percent a day.) Isn’t it so cool how God speaks to you in terms you understand?

Some days I wake up and it hurts one percent less. Everyday I get one percent stronger. One percent closer to getting back to doing the things I love.

I was still confused on why I had heard this in my spirit. One percent.

For days I prayed about it. You don’t just go from a “Baby Chirstian” and three days later a “Seasoned Christian”. It takes one percent.

One percent more in your word. Believing for something one percent harder. Giving one percent more back to the church. Speaking life to the people around you, one percent more.

Don’t give up on your journey just because you aren’t in the same place as someone else.

One percent, One day at a Time.

P.S. It took me about 3 weeks to write this blog. Talk about an emotional ride. Also a big thanks to everyone who has stood beside me in this process. A very special thank you to my physical therapist, Phyllis. Putting up with me 2 times a week for 6 months and never letting me quit. The time you put into me is truly a blessing.

-kirst.

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Will he tie your shoes?

I realized a few months ago that a lot of my followers really don’t know a whole bunch about me.

I started really chasing Jesus after Texas Rodeo Bible Camp when I was 17. Faith Hanan was my small group leader and truly cared about getting us on the right path.

At the time I was struggling with my identity, my worth, pretty much my entire walk. I struggled because I was going to church and sitting alone. Seeing couples pray and worship together. Wanting that kind of relationship not only with another human, but a loving relationship with my father in heaven. (Which I didn’t believe I deserved)

One night during small group Faith asked a simple question, “but does he pray for you?” I couldn’t think of anything I wanted more in a relationship.

I made a small list of what I wanted in a “boyfriend” an prayed over it

  • He will pray for me
  • He will care about my walk and encourage me through my journeys.
  • He will challenge me
  • He will sit next to me in church

There were several other qualities I wanted, but these were pretty much consistent. For 2 years I prayed for someone to match my list.

Little did I know a kid from grade school would be that human for me. Through the first part of our relationship I kept wondering does he pray for me? Did he pray for me like I prayed for him? This was a big deal to me.

One night I sent him a text that I had made it home safely he replied with “Good, I prayed for you.”

3 years later he still prays for me. After 2 very tough leg surgeries I realized that there is more to just praying. You gotta walk it out. You have to serve each other along with God. Humbly.

One thing I’ve learned after getting my femur worked on the little things are hard. Standing for to long, sitting for to long, but most importantly putting on socks and shoes. The struggle is real, But so is God.

In John 13 Jesus washes the disciples feet. This story is so crazy to me. It was an act of humility. He was about to be betrayed and he knew it! But still he leaned down and washed their feet.

I have been a brat some days through these surgeries. But Taylor always ties my shoes.

So all the single ladies out there “but, does he pray for you?”

Remember to whom you belong.

As most of you know I had a horse back accident, on one of our brokest horses. Let me rephrase, I had a freak horse wreck with one of our nicest horses. Long story short I broke my femur.

He caught a lot of back lash from the whole ordeal. Even a new nick name “Femur”.

It didn’t really bother me at first. It’s been 3 months since our mishap and the name still comes up.

This morning I was loving him and I thought what if we named all our horses by what they have done wrong. Oh we call him “Run off ” sometimes even “Bite ya” on a bad day “Flip over”.

I kept soaking it in. Cracking myself up with the things I had came up with. Then I got to thinking about how often we call people by their mistakes. Oh that’s ol “Gossip” she’s dating “Liar” which is a upgrade from “Cheater”.

My spirit convicted me because how often do we look at some one and our mind immediately calls them by their sins and mistakes.

It kinda made my heart stop. How awful are we for doing that?! I have made plenty of mistakes, publicly. I’m so glad 9 times out of 10 I’m the only person that remembers.

But I’m thankful that God knows all my sins, all my mistakes, all my short comings and every time I have a not so Christian like break down. In all my mess he still calls me by my name.

Loved. Chosen. Beautiful. Child of the one true King.

remember to whom you belong and what he calls you.

xo,

Kirst

The Start Over.

When I planned to write this blog I planned for it to go in a completely different direction. It was going to be this encouraging post, about starting over my fitness journey. Maybe even starting over in the saddle gaining my confidence back etc.

But plans change. I had a second opinion on my femur and they want to replace the rod with a bigger one. This should encourage the bone to heal and stabilize it at the break.

So this post is going in one direction for sure, starting over. I was a little angry. Angry at the surgeon that was to prideful to say “I messed up let’s fix it.” Instead of deciding to let me “tough it out”. Upset that I was going to have to go through the pain and hassle one more time. Crushed because I am going to have to miss a few weeks of school. Flooded with emotions, I was reminded by a very smart lady, I was going to have to forgive him.

As angry as I was, I was going to forgive him. That’s the thing about unforgivness. If you’re in it you’re never going to get the full blessing you have been praying for.

It’s like a force field, nothing is getting through it until you drop it. Which is goes both ways, personally I feel like I can’t hear from my spirit.

In my walk I feel like this is the hardest thing for me to get in check. Because I want them to be sorry. I want them to say, “sorry I screwed up.” “Sorry I hurt your feelings” but that’s not how it works.

The hardest thing I ever had to do was forgive someone that wasn’t even sorry. It took a lot of guts and prayer.

I had to realize that being in unforgivness toward someone was not hurting them one bit, it was hurting me.

I am forever thankful for the prayers during this time in my life. I’m thankful for the people who go out of their way to care for me.

I am promised doubled for my trouble and I’m going to stand on that.

-kirst..

Experiencing Brokenness

It’s been a little over a week since I broke my femur. Most of that week I kept telling my mom “I just can’t believe I broke my leg”. Well believe it, because I broke it and did a dang good job doing it.

Most of y’all know I was in a small horse accident. It was a weird deal. Taylor and I had been out riding and I ended up getting bucked off about 5 minutes from the house. I knew exactly what was wrong when I hit the ground. My leg was broken. About 3 inches below my hip joint, I snapped my femur like a twig.

Taylor immediately began rushing around and scooped me off the ground, put me in the pick up and got me to town.

I laid by myself in the pasture for what felt like 5 minutes. I just prayed “Jesus, please take the pain” I’m so thankful that I thought to say that out loud because I was in zero pain until we got to the ER. Moving me around was a reallll killer. Luckily the nurses controlled my pain really well. I was transferred to The hospital in Amarillo and pretty much immediately went into emergency surgery.

I just kept thinking about how “broken” and “useless” I was going to be. But I remembered who I served and who cares deeply for me. My brokenness is welcomed in his presence. I am not useless to him.

I was being prayed for by more people than I could have imagined. I was completely at peace with everything that was going on around me. For that I am so grateful.

A lot of people kept telling me, “You’re so lucky that it didn’t come through the skin.” “You’re so lucky you were close to the house.” “You’re so lucky that you’re young you’ll heal quick.” Some may call in luck but I call it blessed. I will heal quick because I serve a healing God.

This test is going to be turned into a testimony. As of Wednesday May 30 (3 days after surgery). I had 90% range of motion in my knee. 85% range of motion in my hip. I can put all my weight on it. I can walk on it with a little help from my crutches. I have minimum to no pain. Thank ya Jesus!

I am so thankful that I was truly being watched over. I intend to make this leg stronger than before.

P.S. I am not going to sell Mighty Mouse. I am

not scared to get back on. It was not his fault. It comes with the territory being a horseman.

The Enemy and My Fitness Journey.

As most of you know, I recently got serious about my fitness journey. Y’all also know that I fight most of my battles against myself.

Tonight I rode my bike, and the last mile and a half I set a goal for myself. Don’t stop. It doesn’t matter how slow you’re moving, just don’t stop. Before I knew it I had the mile under my belt. But the half mile is on a busy road. I try to push as hard as I can to get back to the house and off the road as quick as I can.

In my mind I kept hearing, “you can’t” “your legs are on fireee” “what’s the point there’s no traffic” “the burrnnnn.” “Just stop.”

That one got me. That wasn’t me fighting against me that was the enemy. Getting me to stop. Stop improving myself. I’m usually very aware of the enemy when he speaks. For the past three months I have been letting him speak to me, through me. He’s been watching me tare down myself and loving it.

I wrote this post to encourage you to listen to what you are saying to yourself. The enemy loves to see you fail. Don’t give him the satisfaction.

You can. You can do this. You can finish. You are capable of great things. Keep pushing forward.

-Kirst..

Why a Personal Trainer?

It took along time for me to see past my own crap, and to be bold. I constantly battle with myself more than anyone. I look in the mirror hate what I see but do nothing to change it. I get walked on a lot. I don’t have the lady balls to stand up for myself. After a long time coming I decided to “practice boldness”. I stepped boldly out and started changing what I didn’t like in the mirror. Started changing how I let people talk to me. I changed how I talked to myself.

In my last post I talked about getting a personal trainer. It was the best choice I’ve made in along time! Sara from Riding Strong took me on at the first of March. My training was completely online. I decided to commit to getting a trainer because I felt like I was getting no where by myself. When I messaged Sara she immediately started to help me. We chit chatted about where I was and where I wanted to be.

Maybe you asked yourself, “How does online fitness training work?” well let me just give you the low down. Sara sent me work outs that corresponded with the work-outs I already enjoyed. Even better she formatted them so I could do them in the privacy of my own home. Awhile back I spoke about getting out of my comfort zone, so I asked Sara to recreate my work outs so that I could go to the gym. She quickly did.

Along with the workouts Sara also monitored my diet and made changes throughout the 4 weeks. I downloaded My Fitness Pal and kept her in the loop. Within the first day I realized that my diet was not being good to my body. I was consuming around 800-900 calories a day. Not to bad right. Wrong. I was consuming 900 and burning around 1200. I was starving myself without even realizing it.

Sara corrected my dietary needs. The program was super easy with my busy schedule. I had a few horse shows during the duration of my training. I stayed on my macros while I was away from home. I didn’t miss a work out because she had me set up at home and at the gym. I learned to use my supplements for the best results. (I use MAN Sports weight Loss Stack)

Non-Scale victories are my favorite victories. I am not a good sleeper. I have a real issue falling asleep and staying asleep. After about two days with Sara I could sleep straight through the night. I didn’t sleep because I was worn out I rested because my body actually needed it. I got stronger in the saddle. I learned how to engage muscles I didn’t know I had and used them to benefit my riding.

If you have any questions or just need some guidence Sara is on all the social media outlets at Riding Strong. I will be happy to answer any questions you might have.

Step out in boldness and change the world around you! You are capable of Greatness!

-Kirst

The Next Step.

After the post about starting it only seems fit to come up with the next step. Sorry for the delay my life got in the way of my blogging. April is a college students worst nightmare. It’s definitely crunch time here at WT.

I have made some huge life changes. I invested in a personal trainer. Shocker right? I decided I needed help continuing on my journey. I recruited Sara from Riding Strong, LTD. to assist me. Oh gosh people she’s awesome and I’m learning to care for my body from someone other than the guy on the other side of Google. If you have ever considered a trainer give her a pm, message, or a snap whatever you prefer. I recently posted an Instagram story on how online training works and worked for me! I also will be wrapping up the “Living Wholly” Series with an in detail post about my fitness journey.

This post is actually going to move into a different direction. In my last blog I touched on “quiet time“. I think as a baby christian I thought quite time had to be completely rehearsed. Like sit in your closet cross legged and pray the most formal prayer you could think of. If I couldn’t think of anything worthy of being brought up I would sit there until I could. As I grew up I learned that quite time is anywhere, the pick up, a parking lot, horse back and even in the bath tub.

I spend more time talking to Jesus while looking through a windshield, but guess what that’s okay. He wants a relationship with you. If that means jamming out to The Message on XM Radio and hanging out in the presence, so be it. I think this is something that gets lost in the motions. No one tells you to spend time with Jesus, but here I am. The best thing I have ever heard is “Jesus is gonna meet you where ever you’re at.” A even crazier thing is you can be in the valley, or the mountain. In the winners circle or in the losers seat. Where you are at, you are never to far out of place for him. ever.

I used to call my mentor so angry about how my life was going and she would always say, “How much time are you spending with Jesus?” Convicting right?? So even to this day if something isn’t going right I question myself. “How much time are you spending truly with Jesus?” the answer has always been, not enough. Putting Jesus in front of some of the things you do is actually better. He will bless your hobbies and your grades if you just put him above all else. Sounds a little OT right? Because it is. I think we blow off the whole Idolatry commandment. Yes I believe in Jesus, but I have an Idol called social media, homework, candy crush and mystery novels. Maybe you do to. I have been praying this form or and form of Idolatry off of me. I think we often believe that since we believe in Jesus we don’t have an idolatry issue. Idolatry is anything you put before Christ.

I quit scrolling and started reading. I love love love to read. I started carrying a book to school with me instead of scrolling I read “Goliath Must Fall” which I talked on in a pervious blog.

I am not a morning person. I’m not ready to speak until I’m fully awake and I feel like I get more out of quite time if I do it in the evenings. I reflect on the day and pray over the next one. I used to really feel bad about not waking up early and spending time with Jesus. But why even try when I can’t give 100% in the morning? I do a lot of praying and worshiping on my way to school (in the truck). It’s a for sure place no one is going to bother me during prayer.

Don’t miss out on Jesus because you feel like you aren’t in the proper place to speak with him. He meets you where you are.

Happy Monday,

-Kirst

 

Blessings, you can’t pick ‘em

A little under two years ago Taylor and I were blessed with a colt. We were even more blessed to have our pick of three colts. The man that blessed us, is also a blessing to both of us. Laurin is one of Taylor’s oldest friends. They got into a lot of trouble together while Taylor was growing up on the 6666’s Ranch.

We went down to Wichita Falls to pick out our first baby together. Out of the 3, I wanted a larger, solid bay colt, while of course Taylor picked the total opposite. A scrawny, lanky bay colt with a long skinny neck and a stripe down his head which made it look a mile long. Who was the last on my list.

He kept asking me, “Do you think he will grow?” I agreed. And kept praying,”Lord, Please make him grow”. There was no doubt that I would not be seen with the little fella until he did. Which I love every creature we own, but he was a ugly baby.

We immediately started him as soon as we got home. Taylor swore not all colts are as easy as him. Never offered to buck or be silly. Just solely wanted to please you or die trying. Taylor kept reminding me, “Don’t trust him, he’s still a baby”

We learned a lot about each other’s training skills with this guy. He would act up and I would be quick to defend him “He’s just a baby”.

Popeye is now 3 years old and probably my favorite out of our herd. He’s still a little awkward and does goofy things. “But he’s still a baby.” He went from the bottom of my list, to being my mount for this year’s show season.

You can’t pick your blessings, or you’d probably pick the wrong thing. Every time I ride Popeye I’m so thankful we came home with him. I am also so thankful that our blessings are gifted to us in all shapes and sizes. Even the things we swore we would never put to use, are blessings.

Stop looking at the things you’d rather have. Stop looking at the Big Stout Shapey Bay Colt and look at the Scrawny One. Stop sowing into things and aren’t working and sew into the correct blessing. The best thing I ever did was accept Popeye for exactly what he was, just as Christ accepted me. For exactly what I was. I was blessed with a scrawny colt when I wanted something completely different. When I sewed into him and pursued him, he became that shapey colt.

Where do I even start?

I found myself asking where should I start? I’m the type of person that starts with the easy things on my todo list. So here we go…

1) Stop Drinking your Calories!! I could bleed Dr. Pepper. So whatever your drink of choice is stopppp. You’re sipping on sugar. Read the labels, 1 can of Dr. Pepper has 40g of Carbs. You could have the chips and salsa for less. I have gave myself all the excuses. “I have a headache, it’s probably because I need a Dr. Pepper” “I had a bad day a Dr. Pepper will help.” I still have the occasional Dr. Pepper. I went from 1-3 a Day to 1 a week (maybe). When I tell people this I get the usual response “I don’t like the taste of water”. I use True Lime or True Lemon packets in my water when I’m just tired of plain water. You can also add fruit and veggies. Personally I don’t dig floaties in my water. Once I stopped my nightly Dr. Pepper intake I found myself missing the fizz. I tried all sorts of carbonated water and it was disgusting. Wal-Mart has their own brand of fizzy water, “Clear” it’s with the bottled water. It’s even a little sweet, so it curves my sweets craving.

2) Get your steps in! If you have ever spent any time on the WT campus you’ll know the parking isn’t great. On any given day I walk from 1-2 miles just getting to class. I know the weather is nasty or you might not have the want to, but just take a stroll. Get out of the class room or office and catch some fresh air! It doesn’t have to be a 10 mile stroll just 10-15 minutes of your day. The time you spend scrolling through the same Facebook posts you could take a walk. I found a workout on Pinterest an I do it when ever I fill my horses water. I make use of the time where I usually would spend on social media.

3) Get your Rest! This one is a hard one for me. I don’t fall asleep or stay asleep very easily. I can not stress this subject enough. I used to stay up late and get up early. I would get sick and stay sick. I didn’t feel like taking care of myself. I was a zombie so naturally I would reach for a Dr. Pepper. I’m gonna speak some Jesus for a minute here. Jesus wants his Warriors well rested, the enemy wants you constantly worn down. When the enemy get’s you busy and pulls you away from God. But you don’t notice it because you’re to busy! A very smart lady gave me a challenge when I was 17. Have 5-10 minutes of quiet time with Jesus. I’ll go more on this topic in post of it’s own.

I know that this is already a lot to handle. I’m going to try to make your transition into getting healthy as easy as I made mine. Try cutting back the Soda, or the Beer. It might be just going to one a day, then one a week, then hopefully none at all. Take a walk and Get your rest.

If you leave this post and try all these things but have a day where nothing goes right, please know you are still worthy! If you fail get up the next morning and try again. His grace and mercies are brand new every single morning. You are worthy yesterday, today, tomorrow and the next day. “It doesn’t matter how you start as long as you finish the race!”

blessings..

-Kirst